Baby #3 is on the way!

I literally never thought I would say those words.

I like to plan things. More than I like to plan, I like to be in control. Much like I was the best (most judgmental) parent in the world before I actually had kids, I always wondered how people got pregnant on accident. Like, don’t you know how it works?

Now, I tuck my judgmental little head between my tail and apologize. Apparently, spending quality time with your husband the night before you take a work trip and then forgetting to pack your birth control pills is frowned upon. As it turns out, if you skip them for 3 days because you forgot to pack them, they don’t work. If you didn’t know, those little swimmers can stay alive for days. Days, you guys. Be afraid.

Also, I can’t say for sure but I believe that if you find yourself out of town without your pills and you say to yourself “Oh well, what are the chances?”, this increases probability that you’ve just changed the course of your life by 150%. If you are staying in a hotel room with a friend who is already pregnant, just face it, you’re done. This is just theory based upon my current life.

All kidding aside, a baby is a blessing. Once the shock wore off I realized there’s not much left to do but be excited. Well, also start collecting baby essentials because we have none, go through labor and delivery, buy diapers and wipes for another 3 years, get a bigger car and a bigger house. No big deal, we’ve totally got this.

Seriously though, I do trust that this was meant to be. This baby will be a blessing to our family and we will work out all of the logistic stuff, we always do.

To be honest, though, I’ve had so many thoughts running through my head since the moment I found out.

Here are some of the random thoughts and feelings on my mind in the past few weeks:

• The vomit. Oh, the vomit. Part of the reason I thought I was done having kids was because I would rather have a cold for a month than vomit for one day. So, yay. If you are one of those women who doesn’t get sick while creating humans, Merry Christmas to you.I have been so sick for the past few weeks I can barely function. Thankfully, my doctor gave me some great suggestions this week and today is the first day I’ve felt like a semi-normal human being. Things are looking up! This paragraph is ending much differently thanks to vitamin B6.
• Starting over. When we decided we were done having babies we got rid of every baby item we’d ever owned, and got a dog. Any chance you can convert a dog crate to a crib?
• Really freaking cute babies. Thanks to Time Hop, I was reminded that we make really cute babies (says every parent on earth), and so that’s exciting. I like cute babies, baby rolls, baby giggles.
• Scared for the baby blues. I really struggled emotionally for a while after having Kaiper. After Alana was born I think it wouldn’t have been as bad except that she was a complete terror, said in the most loving way possible, and cried nonstop for hours. She cried. I cried. Kaiper cried because I wasn’t paying attention to him because she cried. Then I cried more. Chris didn’t cry but he looked terrified half the time. It was a short, yet traumatizing phase of life.I am especially nervous because this baby is due in mid-March, which puts me right in prime postpartum hormone extravaganza right around the 2 year anniversary of losing my mother. I am really, really nervous about that. I will be working really hard to prepare myself as best I can.
• Nothing is big enough. The cars, the house, our bank account. I have faith though, that these things tend to expand as needed where there is love and a willingness to try.
• I’m a bit older. No, I didn’t say I am old. But, I am a bit older. When Alana was born I was 27. For the past 3 months I thought I was 32, but as it turns out when you do the math I am actually 31. I’ll be 32 next month. I’m not sure this will make much difference, but it kind of sort of already feels like it does. Either that or my bladder is just really angry to be sat on a 3rd time.
• I was the surprise third baby. So, I can’t be that mad. This human being is probably going to be awesome, just sayin’.
• All the terrifying questions. During my first pregnancy the only person asking insane questions was me. The second time around, I didn’t have time to think about anything because I was chasing a toddler. Said toddler had no clue what was going on, so he asked no questions.This time, I have two super inquisitive young children. I am counting the days to see far we get before they ask how this baby is coming out. The most popular question right now is, “Is it still in there?”. It’s like “Are we there yet?” for pregnancy. It’s going to be a long ride.
• My body. While I’m a bit bummed that I am not going to get rock hard abs right now as originally planned when I started a new fitness program right before I thought I got the flu, I’m also not super stressed. I plan to stay super active, as long as I am able, just like I did during my pregnancy with Alana. That made everything so much easier. And as long as I feel good, I’m placing zero pressure on myself to look a certain way on a certain timeline. Creating humans is hard work, and I’m just thankful I can do it.
• I just renewed my MOPs membership. Now this, this is exciting. You only get this if you go to MOPs.

There have been thousands of other thoughts running through my mind every day lately, but I can’t remember any of them because I’m pregnant. Bright side: I get to use being pregnant as an excuse for forgetting things.

I can’t believe we are going to be a family of 5! We are just filling up these walls with more love and laughter, and more crazy phases of life that make the best memories later. It’s all good. The messiness, exhaustion, tears.
Being a mother is the hardest, most exhausting job that I never, ever want to stop doing.

jessicalebrun

Hi, I’m Jessica! I am wife to Chris, and mom to Kaiper, Alana and Koa. I am a graphic designer, website developer and aspiring author. In this space, I share about everything from parenting, working from home, food we cook, and lots of things for kids! Learn more about me here.