Has the tooth fairy ever forgotten to come to your house? Gasp. I know, the horror. Well, it happened to me once, that darn tooth fairy can be so unreliable. Sometimes she eats ice cream late at night and then falls asleep without doing her job. And then, I have to swoop in to save the day for my disappointed child.

Okay, so this only happened at my house once (so far). My oldest, Kai, came running into our bedroom in the morning, “The tooth fairy didn’t come!”

Ahh! My heart sunk. What a way to wake up. He might as well have told me the house was on fire, the panic level would have been comparable. So, I set out to devise a plan. Okay, I lied, I drank coffee, wallowed in my guilt for a while, and then set out to devise a plan. And now, several months later, I finally have time to share it with you.

What to Do if the Tooth Fairy Forgets to Come to Your House

Below I will detail the crisis intervention protocol to be implemented upon discovery of tooth fairy failure:

  1. Be surprised. This part will be easy, because you will be surprised when you’re abruptly awoken to the news that you failed as a parent.
  2. Launch internal investigation. Recruit disappointed child to accompany you to the job site. Search for reasons the tooth fairy may not have been able to deliver the goods. In our case, it was an iguana. A stuffed iguana that slept with Kai that night. Make detailed observations about anything that could have possibly caused the tooth fairy to go rogue. (Obviously, drank too much wine and fell asleep cannot be on your list, but it may be in your head. Keep it there. Forever.)
  3. Fix it. Make all necessary adjustments. For us, that just meant Mr. Iguana had to sleep elsewhere for the next night. We also eliminated a ring-tailed lemur and a panther, just in case.
  4. Wait for the child to go to sleep. We cannot fail on night 2. If you fail on night 2, I don’t have a plan B (yet). If I ever fail on night 2, I’ll have to come up with something and extend this blog post.
  5. Print the below Official Notice of Delayed Payment from the Tooth Fairy. You’re welcome.
  6. Disguise your hand-writing. Write the reason for delayed payment. Our reason was: “Iguanas eat tooth fairies.” Totally believable, actually.
  7. Complete the mission. Place the money owed and the notice of delayed payment under the child’s pillow, do whatever you normally do with the tooth (we don’t save ours, ‘ cause…ew), and breathe a sigh of relief. You just saved it. You did not fail as a parent. You may go have your wine now.

Download the Tooth Fairy’s Official Notice of Delayed Payment

Enter your email address below, then check your email, to download and print the necessary documents. Don’t forget to destroy the evidence, put scissors away and discard of paper trimmings (recycle).

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